My name is Barbara, originally named Mary;
I am a part of the true story about thousands of children secretly exported from
Ireland. It is time for these children
and mothers to have a collective voice. These
victims (mothers and babies) need help to lift the burden of shame, to have a global forum for those
seeking answers and to know they are not alone.
Thankfully we now have Philomena Lee and her daughter Jane Libberton (Book: The Lost Child of Philomena Lee by Martin Sixsmith and the Movie: Philomena) to give us a voice.
We (mothers and children that have suffered
from this injustice) have been whispering behind closed doors, voices muffled
by power and injustice and it is time to release these secrets and begin the
healing process. It has taken me years
to find my voice and now I am able to embrace it and put together the puzzle
pieces of my life that make me who I am.
I feel a sense of urgency as many of the mothers are aging and I know many
people would like to share their story. My
main goal is to ultimately have information and links to birth records in one
central location in order to help people find and communicate with their birth
mothers. Rather than in the hands of
the church (who are reluctant to pass on information) or scattered in different
locations throughout Ireland. Update: thankfully our records are now in one location, but still not readily available.
Please click on the
Philomena Project and sign her petition. Philomena and her daughter have started a petition to urge the Catholic Church to release our records. We need a minimum of 10,000 signatures. Please read information and sign to help our cause!
A little background information and a brief history: From
the 1940’s to 1970’s the Catholic Church in Ireland was assisting the
government with the “problem” of illegitimate children. Mother baby homes were created to
provide a home for unwed mothers and help with the adoption of their babies. These
homes were established in order to send single women who were pregnant and
abandoned by their families and/or boyfriends or were victims of rape and
incest. Many never had visitors due to
the inflicted shame associated with having a child out of wedlock. These young women were viewed as sinners and
treated as outcasts of Irish society.
They were humiliated and broken by the nuns. They were assigned a different name and not
allowed to talk about themselves, everything was secret. During child birth they were not offered any
medication and told to feel the pain of their sin. Then approximately six days later they returned
to work, consisting of long hours and strenuous labor. Sadly, many mothers and babies did not
survive and were buried in unmarked graves.
In
1996 I went to Sean Ross Abbey to see where I was born, but was struck with
fear and dread. I panicked; intuitively
I knew that it was “a bad place”. I
pointed to a statute and said “that is where all the dead babies are buried” (a
memory I was unaware I had, yet confirmed in the book Banished Babies by Michael
Milotte). I felt I could not leave fast enough. However now I am stronger and want to go back and face my demons!
I am not sure the total number of homes, but I know of eight
(Sean Ross Abbey, Bessboro, Castlepollard, St. Francis, St. Patrick’s, St. Clare’s,
St. Peter’s, and Sisters of our lady of charity of refuge). Unfortunately, the Catholic Church profited
from sad circumstances for many years. It
seems as though each girl was charged approximately 100pounds (in 1952) to
cover the cost of their stay. The church received monetary assistance from the
government for each girl and baby and then essentially “sold” the children to
America, England, Canada and other families in Ireland for “donations”. The saddest part, some
mothers never signed their birthrights away, many documents were assumed
forged, and many others signed under duress. This was the case for my mother.
I was born at Sean Ross Abbey (now know as St. Ann’s). My parents adopted their first child in 1952
(John at age 4) from “the abbey”, and then me in 1955 (at age 3). We had a good
life and were raised by wonderful and loving parents. My father made a home
movie of my arrival to America and I am amazed at how quickly I embraced my new
family. I find it interesting and
amazing that in the home movie I seem so willing and unafraid, what a brave child,
it seems unreal. I grab my mother’s (a virtual
stranger) hand and get in the car to leave.
Then I am introduced to the rest of the family at a party and seem to be
enjoying myself and when I get nervous I climb back into my mother’s lap. Watching this movie years later I realize the
impact of what I am seeing. I must have
been loved and taken care of at Sean Ross Abbey by someone, I am sure it must
have been another mother because my birth mother was sent away to Chicago to
work as a housekeeper for a Rectory (for three years to pay off her 100 pounds)
shortly after my birth. I would like to
say how appreciative I am to the person or persons who showed me love, that
love and attention early in my developmental years helped create the
compassionate person I am proud to be today.
My brother and I felt a tremendous loss after our adopted parents
died. I personally have difficulty
clearly remembering a few years following my mother’s death; I was in the fog
of agony. Their death served as a
catalyst for my brother to begin the task of finding out where
our journey began, and why it began the way it did. John contacted me and asked how I would feel
about finding our birth parents, I agreed.
John tracked down names and information from letters we had from Sean
Ross Abbey and he found our birth records.
The records seem to change hands and it was not easy to obtain them. They were held by the Sisters of the Sacred
Heart in Cork, when my brother found our information (which took a great deal
of time, effort and of course a "Donation"), but they have been moved again. I was forty years old
before I had an official birth certificate, before then it was a hand written
paper by the nuns at Sean Ross Abbey.
A few years ago John started a Sean Ross Abbey Facebook
page because of our experience. For the
longest time we were the only two members. Since the Philomena Move the site has been flooded with request to join. The Facebook posts reflect the
struggles of these “lost” children (now mostly in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s). These people and their stories need to be
heard, not for money or worldly rewards but to help others fill in the blanks
of their early years and begin to put together the puzzle pieces of their life.
Something that would make them feel
complete, to help them find their authentic self.
As I begin to become more aware I am finding venues that
tell a similar story, Beyond Adoption Ireland, Justice for the Magdalena’s
(JFM), Joni Mitchell’s song Magdalena Laundries. Books that have tried to tell this story are,
Banished Babies by Michael Milotte, The Lost Child of Philomena Lee (this is
the story of Michael Hess, chief counsel for Reagan-Bush administration) by
Martin Sixsmith, The Light in the Window by June Goulding (her graphic story
about the nine months she worked a as a young midwife in Bessboro a mother baby
home in Cork), and Ireland's
Magdalen Laundries and the Nation's Architecture of Containment
by John M. Smith. Information does exist
but it is scattered and disorganized.
Practically, information in a collective place found and published would
connect and reunite mothers and children seeking each other. The Catholic
Church in Ireland still controls most of the birth records and it is hard to
get information, and there is no clear path to take when someone is starting
out. Spiritually, a collective voice
will help remove the stigma and shame, which was forced upon these mothers and
in turn many of their children. Your
assistance would enable us to create a larger forum that would become the link
to resources, to help the Lost Children of Ireland find their birth mothers, to
let their stories be told while lifting the heavy veil of secrecy. I realize my story is only one piece of the
true injustice and the focus should be on the way the church took away the
rights of these young birth mothers, and their children, and left them in shame
and fear of ever telling their stories.
Most of these young women had to work for two to three years to pay off
their debt to the orphanage (ironic use of the word, because we had parents
they just weren’t married) because they could not afford to pay the 100
pounds.
I believe this is a worthwhile story to tell and it is not
about one child it is about thousands of children searching without success. Many birth mother still feeling the shame that was inflicted by the nuns. It is time to help these mothers throw off the same and speak out in order to find their lost children. It is
about a mother’s belief that her shame was so great she could never tell her
story. I want to break that circle of
shame and allow both mother and child to have the chance to find the whole
story of their life and be given the opportunity to reunite. Being able to tell one's story opening is when the healing will begin.
I have my own
story of being adopted in 1955, my excited parents not
knowing that in a few months I would be hospitalized for a year.
It has been
alleged that the nuns purposely tried to adopt out sick children without
notifying the new parents. I had polyps in my larynx and need emergency
surgery.
My parents of one month did all
they could to get me healthy and the outcome was to be that I would be OK but
never talk.
My voice box had been
damaged.
To my adoptive parents surprise I found
my voice and did speak again and now it is time to use that voice for the
greater good.
I have a story to tell and
it is time to speak up and be heard.
Please help the Lost Children of Ireland by taking a moment to sign the Philomena Project!
References:
1. Goulding,
J. The Light in the Window, 2000
2. Milotte,
M. Banished Babies, 1996
3. Sixsmith,
M., The lost child of Philomena Lee, 2006
4.
Smith, James
M., Ireland's Magdalen Laundries and the Nation's Architecture of Containment,
2007
